SamHenry has, for a variety of reasons, been alone on several holidays. It can actually be quite beautiful for its peace and reflection that builds inner strength and peace; for happy memories of holidays past, peopled with those you love; and for the realization that the state of being alone is the basic human condition.
My maternal grandmother lost both parents when she was a little girl. She knew from a young age the feeling of being alone. And she made friends with it. She taught first my mother and then SamHenry about how to handle being alone when she would remind us:
Whenever you feel alone, remember that we come into this world alone and ultimately that is the way we leave it.
It doesn’t matter how married you are or how many children you have, when you wake up in the middle of the night and everyone else is asleep, you feel very alone surrounded with your loved ones. At these times, remember the basic human condition.
When you have made friends with yourself; when you can sit happily with a book and read in your own quiet corner then you have life licked. You come to see that you have the strength and the insight to handle being alone and that it can have its own rewards. It can bring balance to a busy life. It is nothing to run from.
You can also eat what you want; when you want. You can eat out or stay in (eating alone in a restaurant is not so bad – especially when you bring something to read). You can watch what you want to on TV. The day is yours. Enjoy it! And remember you are not the only person alone for a holiday. There are millions around the globe having the same experience. After all, it is part of the human condition.
Musical note: A lot of people have made a lot of money on the theme of “alone.” Think of all the many songs about being alone:
The Bee Gees 1997 sing “Alone.”
Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. jazz up the oldie “Me and My Shadow.”
Paul McCartney sings the Beatles classic “Eleanor Rigby” – alone.
Judy Garland sings an old chestnut “By Myself” also called ” I’ll Go My Way By Myself.”
Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. jazz up the oldie “Me and My shadow.”
Elton John is sitting alone on the roof kicking down the moss and reflecting…”Your Song.”
©On My Watch…the writings of SamHenry. Registration pending.
blackwatertown
November 24, 2010
A lot of alone songs are a bit miserable. But what can you do…
Good thoughts from your maternal grandmother. I also enjoy wandering off alone at times, though I like bumping into strangers on the way – so I don’t necessarily stay alone while I’m wandering. I suppose I subscribe to some optimistic theory about the kindness of strangers. Or at least, the interestingness of strangers.
Doesn’t always work, but I usually come back refreshed. And I have closed the mental door to new friendships.
(I’m wondering wondering wondering if I can get time and afford to slip off for a wee trip next month. Always wanted to meander round Istanbul. Not sure if I’ll make it so soon, but who knows.)
samhenry
November 24, 2010
For a Dad and Husband who had had a long, long history of global wanderings, there must be a way and love and understanding to pack in your bags from your family. You will be much better to live with for the trip! Take it from one who loves freedom but also loves ties as you do. I love doing so many things alone when you don’t have to keep up with someone. But I do run into new people and I don’t hook up with them, I just chat. When I talk with strangers, it is not the same as giving in to them in a kind of pick up kind of way. I have a cousin who just cannot understand how/why I talk with strangers. First the surroundings have to be right; then they have to be as right as you can determine and then the subject must be compelling. I have learned more things and expanded my horizons through just being open to conversation on trips when I have been alone for a time. When you are alone, there is also a sense in which people look after you. If I went with someone else – people might leave me alone thinking I wanted to be alone with whomever. It is a kind of delicate art form/juggling act. You just have to know how to handle it and to be an outgoing person which I am. I won’t close the mental door to new friendships because at my age, people start dropping like flies and I may need replacements! I have lots of young friends as a result. Everyone should have friends in all age groups.
My maternal grandmother was the Irish one, natch.
blackwatertown
November 24, 2010
To some extent when you travel with company you tend to look towards each other – and rightly so, in a supportive way. Travelling alone means you look outwards, absorbing as much as possible.
The exception is if you’re travelling with a child – then the world treats you very differently – you have access – people smile more.
samhenry
November 24, 2010
I’ve never traveled with a child (my misfortune). I believe people would smile more. And it is lovely to have company to whom you look for support and fun and etc. But when I do go alone, I’m all business in getting the most out of where I am. I love it. I also love it with my late great love of my life but equally when my brother puts me in the middle of his family and off we go. The spirit of SamHenry is very adventuresome. When you had a Dad and a boyfriend who both could make a city block interesting then you will know what I mean. It is all in approach, point of view and imagination to make something out of anything. I miss my men. I do have a few in my family left – and lots of men as friends. But my main man is gone and he was the other half of the fun-loving adventuresome me. You are fortunate in your family. I thought when you said you were trying to sneak off – you wanted to make a solo trip. My sister-in-law lets my brother go off occasionally. Our mother brought us up seeing the positive value of alone time. In any event – I hope you can make it to Istanbul to bring back a wonderful report. The daughter of a friend of mine went this summer. She is a minister and followed in the footsteps of St. Paul. I will try to dowload a couple of her beautiful pics for you.
DarcKnyt
November 25, 2010
If I had my druthers, SamHenry, you’d be here with us sharing in what little we have. Perhaps, if the Lord is willing, next year will find you at our table enjoying a kingly feast.
God bless you and much love. Happy Thanksgiving. You are one of those for whom I’m thankful.
samhenry
November 25, 2010
DK – Thank you for thinking of me and for stopping by to let me know you have been when I know your head is turned by business in 20 directions. I am equally as thankful for all of you. I hope y our wish comes true for being at table together. There is always all of you here. There are beautiful parks around me including Letchworth, the Grand Canyon of the East. Love
DarcsFalcon
November 26, 2010
I spent lots of holidays alone as a kid, and as an adult. It’s not so bad, like you said, you get to eat what and when you want, sleep when you feel like it, watch or read what you want – there is a great deal of freedom in doing the alone thing.
What Darc said! We worry about you, you know!
I hope the holiday was enjoyable for you – whether alone or with company.
*hugs*
samhenry
November 26, 2010
You are both too sweet to me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love…