Benjamin Franklin, inventor of the first Bow-Ometer
The Political Funnies for
November 15, 2009
by SamHenry
Today, we don’t give much thought to the founding fathers or their paperwork – you know like that famous memo to future generations, the Constitution which, together with subsequent amendments, gives us so many rights that evil people try to take away.
As a result of our thoughtlessness and forgetfulness and for other reasons, one of Benjamin Franklin’s most inventive inventions lay dust-covered from years of storage in the basement of a well-known pub in Philadelphia. Rediscovered during gentrification of Center City, it was briefly updated by others. But alas, it was soon again forgotten.
Franklin invented the first Bow-Ometer during his extended sojourn in France observing manners at Royal functions. One of the most important manners to be observed during that time was the bow or it’s related activity, the curtsy (for women only).
Due to his expanding girth, Franklin found the bow to Royalty and to others increasingly excruciating and exhausting. But his interest in examining various bow habits and styles never wavered. From the sidelines he drafted a plan for a device to measure and categorize bows. Thus, the Bow-Ometer was born.
Enter the new President of these United States, Barack H. Obama. He has single-handedly caused us to reconsider the bow since he has become such an ardent practitioner of it. This activity and quoting Lincoln are his favorite links to the past. This has reignited historians’ interest in Franklin’s Bow-Ometer and and in an attempt to locate one in working condition. One was found in the basement of a former bordello in our nation’s capitol now the private residence of Rep. Barney Frank.
Being a man of affectation, Rep. Frank eagerly responded positively to our request to borrow the Bow-Ometer which we have affectionately called the Obama Bow-Ometer. Here are the first Obama bows as assessed by this remarkable device:
1. Trip to Britain to Visit the Queen, Head of the Church of England.
Bow and curtsy by the President and Mrs. Obama measured a weak 1 on the Bow-Ometer and were characterized as offhand and arrogant.
2. Trip to the Saudi Court, a Muslim Entity
Here the President was meeting a man he highly esteems and who is also Royal with the added attraction to O that he is a Muslim as was his own father.
The above photographed bow registered a 4 on the Obama Bow-Ometer characterized by obsequiousness and a danger of falling. It also highlighted the noteworthy Presidential posterior.
3. Visit to Japan
Here as he himself said during this trip, the President Obama was back home in his Pacific milieu. His enthusiasm caused him to be a keen kowtower when meeting Emperor Akihito and his gracious Queen (a commoner but definitely not common).
This over-done kowtow which the Los Angeles Times called a “wow bow” was ranked only a 3. It was characterized as amateurish and dangerous because it put him in a diver’s pike position – clearly something you do not attempt over a concrete surface. On the other hand perhaps jet lag and exhaustion caused his frame to fall.
It is obvious to all that President Obama has a long way to go to discover that the degree of the bow is offset by its characterization. Had he not been obsequious or overly keen to please, his scores in Saudi Arabia and in Japan would have been higher. He needs to learn that sincerity of execution and attention to local custom is the key. This is difficult for an affirmed narcissist.
We will continually update these Obama Bow-Ometer readings they are important. President Obama may bow out in 2012 because of his lack of ability in this area and not because of his mishandling of the economy or the War in Afghanistan.
This just in – a video of bowing after a town hall meeting in Shanghai. Obama Bow-Ometer meter reading not processed. Please watch the right of the screen.
This obsessive bowing behavior has led this writer to recall bobbing glass birds that you could buy to sit on the edge of a water-glass and they bobbed for a drink. Research has uncovered the fact that these days they sell the drinking or dippy birds that stand and they still have their dippy Presidential followers:
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VotingFemale Speaks! – Obama to Congress: Do As I Say, Not As I Do
Hot Air – Poll: What was the Obamateurism of the Week?
The Morb
November 15, 2009
‘ That famous memo ‘ !!! You’re a riot Sam !! You made my Sunday reading this one !! I love your style ! I hear ya all the way up here !
samhenry
November 15, 2009
Hi good friend. I am so happy to make someone laugh with this! I never know how these things will be received. I have been substitute teaching, keeping up with my student boarders and trying to nail down another part-time job. Will visit you soon, I promise!
roxannadanna
November 15, 2009
Interesting video… Whaddya think?
samhenry
November 15, 2009
This was soooooooooooo well done. What a find – what a mind you have! I enjoyed it immensely. I think actually Obama bowed too low. I think in Japan a low bow is also impolite. Whatever, he spends too much time on his bow and not enough deciding on how many troops to send to Afghanistan. I will come visit you at your “house” soon.